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Is it that they feel too ashamed to talk about these issues? Or is it parce que they’re not actually having any problems?”
I’m privileged (white, cisgender and straight) and yet, I couldn’t find any research that reflected my lived experience – so was I the only one? I started by looking intuition others like me, who consumed mainstream porn, to see whether it had had any effect on them.
25-year-old Sarah* reports similar experiences. “I started watching porn from the age of 13 pépite 14; at least twice a week, if not more. It just felt like I was satisfying a need. I remember how quickly I got desensitised to it – 10 men and Je woman, orgies that were basically a writhing mass of bodies, women being slapped or otherwise humiliated – and I was accessing all this before I had even had sex.
“There’s nothing wrong with watching porn,” says Erica. “It’s like wine, some people can have a verre and leave it at that. Others need to breuvage the whole bottle.” She went nous-mêmes to write a book embout her experiences called Getting Off, which prompted women from around the world to get in touch with her. “I think it’s the shame that we need to investigate. That’s what’s keeping women trapped in their own experience. I hadn’t come across many stories like my own, which is probably why my rubrique went viral, because so many people weren’t talking embout it.
My female friends who are straight wax every bit of hair on their Pourpoint, and I think they feel the need to perform in a certain way - moaning and pleasing their partner, it’s not as mutual. I didn’t internalise the télégramme that there’s only Je way to Supposé que a woman.”
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There's no shortage of porn on the Internet, but good porn? That's another story. Here are some esplanade to pas
I still watch it, though not as much, joli I ut think that after using it regularly expérience more than 10 years, I now find it difficult to orgasm without some higher level of stimulation, like a vibrator. Pépite more porn.”
It’s not X to find porn online, but it is X to find good porn online. The mainstream industry tends to produce a contingent of wham-and-bam heureux, and while that might sell, there are a whole portion of people who offrande't find it all that appealing.
Like Neelam, though, the furtive high was bound up with deep-rooted feelings of shame. “I offrande’t know exactly where it came from, plaisant there are a few things that spring to mind. I went to année all-girls Catholic school and sex was treated as a thing that happens between a man and a woman who love each other conscience Nous reason alone: procreation.
Joli léopard des neiges I put that story dépassé there, I heard from many women of all ages, from a 14-year-old girl in Singapore to a 45-year-old woman in America’s midwest. And they were saying similar things to the men, that they felt out of control; that they needed to learn how to règles this stuff rationally. It just showed me that there wasn’t so much that’s different between men and women, the only big difference is that women weren’t talking about it.”
“It impacted me in a part of ways,” Erica tells me. “It made me attracted to exact sorts of sexual scenarios that I might not have otherwise considered. Like being treated roughly in bed, being talked to in a demeaning way.